Drawing the Prophet

When our poor, helpless billion-dollar media conglomerates such as Viacom are made to cower under the jackboots of a completely unknown fringe extremist person or two or three wielding the ultimate power of having a website, a keyboard, and fingers enough to type up empty threats on that keyboard, it’s up to the stronger among us Americans to come to the aid of our weaker fellow citizens.

If a poorly drawn U-Haul is now considered too outrageously offensive* for I don’t even know who because this is still America isn’t it, we can only wonder what might be considered safe. I’ve been a proud infidel my whole life, so I will happily step into the breach. I’d like to propose “World Draw Mohammed Day”. And to get the ball rolling, here’s my first entry:

Matt and Trey I ain’t, but what’re you gonna do.

* Leaving aside the ontological weirdness involved in considering that a poorly drawn image of a rental truck somehow “contains” an un-drawn “image” of a religious leader and therefore is somehow considered a “representation” of said religious leader, because that whole can of worms just makes my head spin. There aren’t irony quotes enough in the whole Internet for me to even begin making sense of all that shit.

Demand – Arbitrary Racism

Don't Guess - Demand

With some racist ads of the era, you can at least see the connection to the racism. I may despise everything about the imagery and symbolism, but at least Aunt Jemima was a cook. Cooks make pancakes. It conforms to the internal (albeit racist) logic. But Golden Wedding just dumps a pile of racist dialogue and caricature for absolutely no reason having anything to do with the content of the “cartoon” into this idiotic ad.

The whole thing smacks of committee think (albeit a racist committee): first, no Redcap would yell out the age of Rye for no apparent reason – so the entire premise of the gag is a stretch, at best. Then to the already uproarious humor of the punchline (“everybody knows that!” My sides, they are splitting!), we add a hilariously racist stereotype for, well,  no apparent reason. My only glimmer of optimism in this whole abysmal enterprise is the thought of how terrible the lives of all involved in this ad must’ve been if this is the kind of shit they thought was funny.

By the way, it’s still available if you want to get your Rye on. Beware: it’s the same company that makes Chi-Chi’s Mexican Mudslide.